by James Fell | Apr 22, 2017 | Uncategorized
A new study closely controlled several groups of identical twins with identical diets, identical body weights, identical exercise regimens, identical lives and stress levels, and had one of them drink diet soda and the other not. Then it followed them for many years...
by James Fell | Apr 19, 2017 | Uncategorized
Do you ever feel like making a voodoo doll in the image of your boss, stabbing it full of pins, twisting its head off, then setting it on fire? I remember those days. Speaking of the old days, here’s to the good old mammoth-slaying Stone Age, when we knew how to...
by James Fell | Apr 8, 2017 | Uncategorized
When you have a mom like mine, it’s difficult to grow up to be a sexist piece of shit. Please note that for the remainder of this article, the word “sexist” will always be followed by the words “piece of shit.” Because accurate. It’s 2017, for fuck’s sake. Grow a...
by James Fell | Apr 6, 2017 | Uncategorized
If I work out just four hours in four weeks it means I contracted Ebola. My warm ups take longer than eight minutes in the morning. In as little as 20 minutes, three times a week I might burn off one piece of pie. I’m curious what happens on day 18 of a 17-day diet....
by James Fell | Apr 2, 2017 | Uncategorized
A guy in a jacked-up truck with tires the size of Trump’s ego, powered by a planet-killing engine blasting black smoke, tears through your neighborhood. The engine roars like the world is coming to an end and makes the windows on your house rattle. He’s doing double...
by James Fell | Mar 28, 2017 | Uncategorized
Those damn lizard overlords. Is there no level to which they won’t lower themselves? New research published in the International Journal of Chemtrail Science reveals that Big Airline, Big Pharma, Big GMO, Big Flouride, and Big Bigly have launched an astroturfing army...
