Dear Mercola:

I’m leaving off the “Dr.” part, because I think you long ago lost all right to call yourself that.

I would like you to inhale a large bag of Taco Bell farts.

Because you suck like the gravitational force of a neutron star.

Just FYI, the gravitational field at the surface of a neutron star is about 200 billion times that of the pull you feel on Earth.

That’s a lot of sucking.

This astronomical fact brought to you by: Science!

Good old science; something you have no clue about.

Case in point, this dumbfuckery:

This is blowing up on social media. A popular MMA fighter is sharing it. It was sent to me by a woman who found it on her friend’s page. That friend works closely with medically vulnerable populations. Right now, you’re promoting your bullshit “Vaccine Awareness Week” to the 1.7 million followers of your Facebook page. You have an article on your site telling people to skip the flu shot that has been shared on Facebook over 156,000 times. It’s a sad state of affairs that your website receives as many visitors each month as the National Institute of Health site. Never mind all those warning letters from the FDA about you.

Such fear mongering kills people rather than saves them.

Let’s expose this bullshit a piece at a time, shall we? We can start with your “expert source,” Hugh Fudenberg.

I left the “Dr.” off his name too. Because he isn’t one. Not anymore. Well, he’s also dead. But he was disgraced long before the dirt nap.

Some facts about Fudenberg:

  • In 1995, the South Carolina medical board found him “guilty of engaging in dishonorable, unethical, or unprofessional conduct.” He was fined $10,000 and ordered to surrender his license to prescribe narcotic drugs. Why? Because he was illegally obtaining controlled substances for his own use.
  • In addition, his medical license was indefinitely suspended, but he could apply for probationary status if he was judged competent after undergoing a psychiatric evaluation.
  • He was allowed to return to practicing, without the ability to prescribe drugs, on a probationary basis, the following year.
  • His license expired in 2004. He applied to have it reinstated, but the board held a hearing which involved a review of a psychiatric evaluation of Fudenberg from the previous year. As a result, he agreed to remain “retired,” withdrawing the request for reinstatement of his license.

But, you know, he says five flu shots in a row = ten times the risk of Alzheimer’s. Could it be that, judging by the history of this fellow, such numbers were pulled from a posterior orifice?

My guess is, yes, it is possible, being the claim is not supported by any published research. He just made it up.

Fudenberg based it on aluminum being an ingredient in the vaccine. The Alzheimer’s Association asserts the idea that exposure to aluminum leads to the disease has been debunked. What’s more, a 2001 study (an actual real study, published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal), evaluated thousands of elderly Canadians and asserted:

According to this analysis of data from a large-scale longitudinal study of elderly Canadians, vaccination against diphtheria or tetanus, poliomyelitis or influenza was associated with lower risk for Alzheimer’s disease than no vaccination.

LOWER RISK OF ALZHEIMER’S, you brainless troglodyte.

So, study published in reputable journal based on following thousands of elderly people for many years says vaccination = lower risk of Alzheimer’s. But disgraced drug addled maker of duck sounds says flu shot = Alzheimer’s.

Hmmm … which one to believe …

Speaking of aluminum in vaccines, context is important. You can read more about it on the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Vaccine Education Center site (this hospital is where esteemed infectious disease specialist Dr. Paul Offit works, and the site is a project he’s directly involved in).

Just FYI, aluminum is the third most abundant element on Earth, and it’s in everything, “including fruits and vegetables, beer and wine, seasonings, flour, cereals, nuts, dairy products, baby formulas, and honey. Typically, adults ingest 7 to 9 milligrams of aluminum per day.”

A wee bit in a flu shot isn’t going to hurt you. But the flu will most definitely hurt you.

And I notice you’re still dragging out that whole thimerosal bullshit. This reveals you don’t understand not all mercury is the same. Vaccines contain ethylmercury, which is not the same as the toxic methylmercury. It’s like the difference between ethyl alcohol, the kind you find at a liquor store, and methyl alcohol, the kind that is poison and causes blindness.

When you make claims about thimerosal and “brain injury,” you’re putting yourself in the same camp as disgraced gastroenterologist Andrew Wakefield, who had his medical license revoked for his fraudulent research linking vaccines to autism.

What about formaldehyde? Such a scary sounding ingredient. Isn’t that the stuff the poor frog you dissected in seventh grade was soaked in. Ew. No way you’re injecting that into me.

You idiot.

Formaldehyde is essential in human metabolism and is required for the synthesis of DNA and amino acids … all humans have detectable quantities of natural formaldehyde in their circulation.”

The amount of formaldehyde in vaccines is significantly less than what is already floating around in your body, and far far less than a toxic dose. Remember, everything is toxic, but it’s the dose that makes the poison.

Your head is so far up your ass you can see your own esophagus.

Read this to learn more about vaccine ingredients.

Oh, but what’s the harm in skipping the flu shot? A little bullshit fear mongering never hurt anyone, did it?

Fuck yes it did. We are talking about the most lethal virus in the United States. In this interview I conducted with Dr. Paul Offit, he said, “If you ask the question: ‘What virus is going to kill more people in the US every year?’ The answer is: ‘Influenza.’ HPV kills 4,000 a year, but the flu is in the tens of thousands of people a year.”

“But the flu shot isn’t even that effective!” I can hear you wail. Dr. Offit said, “For every 10% efficacy you prevent roughly 13,000 hospitalizations in the United States.” And many of those 13,000 die. On average, efficacy is 65%, so that’s a lot of hospitalization and death prevention.

Alas, the annual rate of vaccination is low. According to the CDC, it’s high 50% for children, and low 40% for adults.


It’s time to admit you’re not anti-vaccine.

You’re pro-disease.

Fuck you.



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James S. Fell, MBA, writes for the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, AskMen, the Guardian, TIME Magazine and many other fine publications. His first book was published by Random House Canada in 2014. He is currently working on his next book, which is about life-changing moments.