What a Long Strange Trip It’s Been is the name of a compilation album by the Grateful Dead released a dozen years after the band formed. It’s been twelve years since I began writing, and while it’s definitely been less psychedelic than Jerry Garcia’s jam band, the...
Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo. It’s on Taco Tuesday. That would be exciting except for the fucking ‘rona. We alabaster-ass motherfuckers have ancestors who invaded half the world in search of spices, yet still can’t be bothered to use them. Case in point: this...
I’ve lived in Canada for all of my almost 52 years, and I grew up around guns in northern British Columbia, my dad was an avid hunter and still gets the odd deer. I like guns. They’re both fun and useful. When you’re spending all summer in the middle of nowhere with...
I’ve written several dozen articles, and two books, examining the science of finding the motivation to exercise. So what happened to my passion for physical activity? It evaporated into thin, potentially contagious air. I don’t even have to go anywhere. I have...
There is a beautiful little baby that lives far from me that I enjoy taking a small amount of credit for. A social media friend was having relationship trouble. Biological clock was ticking. She desperately wanted to be a mother. Dude she was with was apparently not...
To my dearest darling daughter: I love you. I would step in front of a Nickelback concert for you. But during this exercise in the time of COVID, I need to explain some things about gym etiquette. I know you’re going bugshit because you can’t go to karate or your...
I’ve seen every episode of Law and Order and most of the SVU ones. And while a TV show doesn’t make one a legal expert, I do remember that two things the characters always got excited over were “precedent” and “making new law.” I don’t exactly know how the U.S. legal...
I know COVID-19 is not one of those poop-yourself-inside-out kind of diseases, but despite the lack of getting the runs, I understand the run on toilet paper: You can’t wipe your ass with a can of lima beans, and no one wants to be quarantined with a bunch of people...
When Greta Thunberg was fifteen, she was supposed to be in school learning to become a good little consumer of planetary resources. Instead, she was protesting the lack of action on climate change outside the Swedish parliament. And hordes of mediocre white men from...
I am a pasty-ass Canadian white boy and all four of my grandparents were born in the British Isles. My ancestors could boil a mean potato, but didn’t know shit about spicing stuff up. I expect any Mexican chef who reads this recipe is gonna say, “¿Qué chingados,...
